How to Tell Someone to Never Do That Again

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Having a person call you every solar day or even several times a day tin can be disruptive and potentially stressful. You may be tempted to lose your patience and yell at this person or but ignore their calls or cake their number from your telephone. However, yelling at them or blocking their calls may cause irreparable damage to your human relationship with them. You may have greater success in maintaining your relationship if you address the situation in a calm but direct manner. By being articulate and direct, you should end upwardly with a stronger bond with the caller and fewer calls from them.

1. 1

   Inquire the caller to stop calling you then oftentimes. Information technology's possible that the caller is unaware that they are bothering yous past calling you every twenty-four hours or multiple times a day. Tell them honestly that you would prefer they don't call you so frequently. If this is someone you would like to continue to talk to, just not then frequently, be prepared to reassure the person that yous still like them and would similar to talk to them regularly.^[1]

   • Y'all could say, "Susie, I really value your friendship, but you're calling me style too frequently. It's non that I don't enjoy talking to you. I just take a lot of other things going on and don't have time to talk to you every day."

2. 2

   Tell the caller how you lot are being affected by their frequent calling. Depending on the frequency and timing of the calls, you lot may exist experiencing an increment in stress, a loss of focus, or even poor sleeping patterns. All of these things tin can have a negative impact on your life. Express this to the caller without sentence or blame. They may be unaware of the impact their constant calling is having on you lot and hearing your perspective tin can help clear things up.

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3. 3

   Ready boundaries for calls. Found healthy boundaries with clear communication.^[2] Tell the caller that yous care well-nigh them and enjoy talking to them, but too many frequent calls cut into other demands on your schedule, such as time at piece of work and with family and other friends. Exist clear about how many calls per twenty-four hour period or week you notice acceptable and what times should be off-limit.

   • Yous may determine, for instance, that y'all cannot answer calls during your work shift or after your bedtime. Tell the caller, "If y'all phone call me while I'thou at work, between the hours of nine a.m. and 5 p.m., I will not be able to answer the telephone. I get to bed at 10 p.m., then please do not phone call me past that fourth dimension unless it'southward a life-or-death emergency."
   • Stick to the boundaries that you gear up. If yous constantly make exceptions to the rules y'all've set, the caller volition chop-chop learn that the boundaries are meaningless and will not respect your rules.^[iii]

4. iv

   Stick to your boundaries. ^[four] But deviate from your set boundaries in cases of emergency, such equally when the person's machine breaks downwardly and they are stranded on the highway or if there is a medical emergency with them or someone they are close to. If the person continues to call for not-emergency situations, simply respond the phone and promptly say, "I'm at work right now and can't talk on the phone. I will telephone call you lot back one time I get home around six p.m." and then hang up.

   • Don't tell someone you will telephone call them dorsum if yous have no intention of calling them back. This volition only create heightened anticipation and feet at not hearing from you. Such feet may actually increment the corporeality that the person calls.

5. 5

   Set a schedule. Schedule a regular time that works best for both of you to have a check-in call. This may be once a week or multiple times a week depending on what works best for your state of affairs. Fifty-fifty though this may seem too formal, having a set schedule can salvage a lot of anxiety for someone who is clingy, insecure, or worried about you.^[5] Furthermore, it will permit the person know that you are willing to make fourth dimension for them because you value your human relationship with them, while also making it clear that there is a limit to the corporeality of fourth dimension you tin requite them.

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1. one

   Send their calls to voicemail. If after taking the above steps you don't run across improvements in the frequency of this person'south calls or if they ignore your request to respect your boundaries, and so only ignore the calls past not answering the phone. Ultimately, y'all have to practise what is all-time for you to manage your life and minimize your stress. Return the phone calls on your own schedule or practice non return them at all if you experience similar this relationship is toxic and non worth saving.^[6]

2. 2

   Tell the person y'all will not respond their phone calls. If the calls persist despite request the caller to stop calling and then frequently, tell them honestly that yous will no longer answer their calls. Some people may not get the bulletin that you are ignoring their calls, and some will call even more frequently if they are unsure why their calls are going unanswered.

   • For instance, you could say, "I take asked you non to call me every twenty-four hour period, just you yet do. Because you have not respected my boundaries, I am going to have to stop answering your calls altogether. If I have time to speak with you, I will telephone call yous back when it's convenient for me."
   • If you never desire to speak to the person again, tell them that. For instance, "I have asked you repeatedly to stop calling me. I practice not want to speak to you lot. I volition not answer the phone when you lot call ever once more."

3. 3

   Block the caller's number from your phone. If the person continues to telephone call and the frequency becomes abusive, yous may want to block the number from your phone to have the calls go directly to voicemail or screen your calls by using caller ID and refusing to answer.

   • If they persist in trying to contact you by other means, this person may be stalking you and you should notify the police force.^[7]

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1. i

   Ask the caller if they are worried or stressed about something. People can often be clingy if they are insecure in their relationship with you or fifty-fifty if they are worried about something going on in their life.^[8] Take some time to have a middle-to-middle conversation with the caller to decide if there is a deeper problem that is causing them to achieve out to you so oftentimes. If yous live in the same urban center, it may be easier to have this conversation confront-to-face rather than over the telephone.

   • If the caller is feeling insecure virtually their human relationship with you, clinch them of your human relationship's stability past telling them how important they are to yous.^[9] You might say, "You are i of my closest friends. I tin't imagine my life without you in it."
   • Information technology may exist possible that the caller is experiencing some mental health problems and is reaching out to you for assistance. If yous sense that they are exhibiting signs of anxiety, depression, PTSD, or other mental health issues, you may need to spend more fourth dimension supporting them or assist them in seeking professional help.^[10]

2. 2

   Find a new crowd. If you see the caller frequently in your everyday life, try finding new people to spend time with. Spending less time with a person who is clingy can help point to them that you take a life outside of your relationship with them. Like the one-time adage, "Out of sight, out of listen," the person may be less inclined to call you lot if they don't see you so ofttimes and you are not on their heed so much.

3. 3

   Encourage the caller to explore new interests. This person may be calling you too frequently because they are bored or have little going on in their lives besides their relationship with you lot. Propose that they pursue activities related to their interests past joining a team or a hobby club, taking educational classes, or participating in volunteer opportunities.

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Add New Question

• Question

  What should I practise if I still desire to stay in bear on with them, merely not every day over the phone?

  

  Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Motorbus based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Lucifer (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds beloved for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business concern Administration from Brock University.

  

  Matchmaker & Certified Life Passenger vehicle

  Expert Reply

  Tell them that you tin can't answer the phone every day, but you're willing to stay in touch with them via text or email instead.

• Question

  My best friend and I were talking every day, but all of the sudden he hasn't responded in 8 days. He has wellness problems, and I'm worried. What should I do?

  

  If you've tried getting in touch by phone and/or social media, accomplish out to any mutual friends or acquaintances, or anyone who knows him. If you know where he lives and information technology is nearby, terminate by his house.

• Question

  My friend calls every day, writes down everything I say, and has spyware on her figurer to snoop into the personal life of my friends and family. How do I protect myself from her?

  

  Quitty_Cat

  Community Answer

  Slowly altitude yourself from her, non making it obvious. Change all your passwords as presently as you can, and report her to the government for using the spyware.

• Question

  My wife's niece calls three times a twenty-four hours, even when we are having dinner, and every time is to tell my wife something bad, hat is happening, like fifty-fifty if she has a cold, she has to tell my wife, or to gossip. It causes me anxiety, what should I do?

  

  First, talk to your wife to let her know how this is affecting y'all personally and yous every bit a couple. Your wife probably feels obliged to accept the calls simply hasn't really cottoned on to how much her niece'southward negativity upsets y'all personally too. She will need to empathise that bringing this external negativity into your home life affects both of yous and is therefore inappropriate. Politely ask your married woman to tell the niece to phone call less oftentimes and to make information technology clear that unless information technology's really important, that it's not acceptable to call at dinnertime or belatedly at dark or at any other unsuitable time. Also suggest that your married woman limit conversations with the niece to only one call per 2 days or such and to let the niece know this too.

• Question

  I accept a trouble with my sister ringing me every unmarried day. She can call up to xx times a day, and I live 250 miles away. She lives on her own and has 4 sons living nearby. What do I exercise?

  

  Calmly explicate to her that you can't talk to her every unmarried solar day because you have your own life, responsibilities, etc. Run across if y'all can schedule regular telephone dates, like once or twice a week, where you'll ever be available to talk to her, and stick to those dates. If she continues calling yous constantly, you don't need to experience guilty about not answering.

• Question

  i used to similar taking phone calls but now I feel like phone calls are stressful considering I'm on a phone phone call for ane-3 hours listening to anybody's issues. How tin I stop this?

  

  Set a limit for yourself. Tell yourself you will just exist on the phone for a fix time, like 5-5:30 PM. If yous are on the phone because other people make y'all feel yous have to talk to them for a long time, get used to saying things like: "Well it has been good to talk to yous but I take to go at present". You do not need to make excuses, just make information technology clear the time for talking is up. You establish the telephone boundaries yous want others to respect.

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• Prepare a calling schedule to reduce calls to times that work for y'all. Adjust the schedule to reduce the frequency of calling if necessary.

• Avert using harsh linguistic communication and try to remain at-home and direct in your chat about boundaries.

• Tell them to stop calling you altogether if nothing else works. This person does not respect your boundaries and is probably not someone you should have in your everyday life.

• If you lot are receiving harassing calls from a telemarketer or company, register your phone number with the Practise Not Call Registry^[xi] and submit a complaint through their website for companies who violate the law by continuing to phone call.^[12] You may also consider suing the company for making harassing phone calls.^[thirteen]

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• If this person refuses to respect your boundaries and continues trying to contact yous fifty-fifty after you enquire them to stop, they may exist a stalker. Cut off all communication with that person to the best of your ability, and file a police report if you lot feel threatened.^[14]

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About This Article

Article Summary X

If someone'due south calling yous every day and information technology's a niggling too much for you, you can let them know gently. Offset by not picking up their calls when it'south not convenient for you. Y'all can text them after to say you were busy and give them a time that you lot'll be free to talk. After a few times, they should get the message that you won't accept their calls every day and finish calling so often. You can besides schedule a regular call time so they don't call equally much. For instance, tell them you lot're decorated during the week, but you should be free for a phone call on the weekend. It might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but it's OK to prioritize your own fourth dimension and mental health. For more tips, including how to tell someone upfront not to telephone call you, read on.

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